God Loves Gays (Because I Said So)! by Saab Lofton

God Loves Gays (Because I Said So)!
by Saab Lofton

"There's a cultural war going on. The religious right is winning. We're losing."
--radio talk show host Howard Stern

God created homosexuality for the express purpose of keeping our population down since Humans ain't bound by mating cycles like animals are. Remember Soylent Green -- the 1973 Charlton Heston movie about an overpopulated dystopia in which there's forty million in New York City alone (and resources are so scarce a jar of strawberry jam cost $150)? Well, that's exactly what The Lord Almighty is trying to prevent by having a certain percentage of Humanity be born gay.

The X-Men from Marvel Comics are born different, and as a result, they're able to protect a world that fears or even hates them. The same is the case in real life when it comes to homosexuals, so if anything, we the people should be THANKING the gay community for NOT having children. Jeepers! Haven't you people seen Al Gore's Oscar-winning/Nobel Peace Prize-earning An Inconvenient Truth? According to a piece about it in The Washington Post, "From 2003 to 2050, the world's population is projected to grow from 6.4 billion people to 9.1 billion, a 42 percent increase. If energy use per person and technology remain the same, total energy use and greenhouse gas emissions (mainly, carbon dioxide) will be 42 percent higher in 2050."

The aforementioned means gay bashings and other forms of homophobia are both blasphemous to God and dangerous to the Earth itself. Case in point, the following was recently reported by The Associated Press ...

"RICHMOND, Calif. – Two men and two teens have been arrested on suspicion of gang-raping a woman ... Detectives say the 28-year-old victim was attacked on Dec. 13 [2008] after she got out of her car, which bore a rainbow gay pride sticker. The alleged attackers made comments indicating they knew she was a lesbian, police said ... The 45-minute attack started when one of the men approached the woman in the street, struck her with a blunt object, ordered her to disrobe and sexually assaulted her with the help of the others, according to detectives."

... I'm sure in the so-called minds of those four assholes (speaking of, each asshole of theirs will be plenty sore after they get tossed in the penitentiary's shower room) Alpha male machismo ran amok. It's the fault of America's dominant culture (based on preemptive strikes made by cowboys as it is), which implies that you're not a real man unless your penis is somehow large enough to instantly/magically transform a lesbian into a straight woman. Such a retarded fantasy needs to remain in the fictional realm of porn; it has NO (as in less than zero) place in reality.

And I don't give a three-legged rat's ass what the Religious Right says -- these are the same bunch of inbred, missing chromosome, penal colonist descendants who "think" the Bible justifies everything from witch burnings to cotton pickin' slavery. Speaking of right-wing scum, over the years I've consistently pointed out how white supremacists are primarily motivated by the fear of miscegenation (essentially, the fear that the future will be as ethnically diverse as The Matrix Reloaded depicted it to be). In the book Home-Grown Hate, Barbara Perry writes, "Just as white supremacists fear that abortion is an act of genocide and miscegenation is an act of racial suicide, so too do they imagine homosexuality to represent a threat to the continued survival of the white race. Since, it is assumed, homosexuals do not reproduce, they too constitute race-traitors."

For an example of this fear, check out the March 12, 2004 issue of Socialist Worker: "In Houston, a grand dragon of the Ku Klux Klan was photographed with his hood off at a protest against gays seeking marriage licenses. He wore a sign that read: 'Gay: Got AIDS Yet?'"

One of the great scenes from Star Trek: Nemesis is when the android Data addresses the crowd at a wedding as such, "Ladies, gentlemen, transgendered species ..." In the 24th century, you're judged by the content of your character. In the savage, barbaric 21st century, you're judged by your ability to produce a shitload of Aryan children. Never forget: The real reason the elite is homophobic is because there's almost a billion Africans and there ain't nearly that many NATURAL blondes/redheads worldwide. Therefore, the KKK and CIA are all about playing catch-up (by any means necessary, unfortunately).

That's my take on current crap like California's Proposition 8. As far as Israel's recent bombings are concerned, I've extensively covered its motives for years back when I won awards writing for The Las Vegas CityLife. The Israelis seem to think if they don't run the Palestinians off of that disputed land, then their culture will eventually die out. Ridiculous! Judaism can easily survive the next millennium and beyond. It's just that those who'll be practicing it in the future are statistically likely to look like Lenny Kravitz, not Robert Downey Jr., so get over it. No one's bringing back Jim Crow laws just to keep some elitist from feeling uncomfortable.

The main problem with Judaism is how "white skin privilege," stemming from their (albeit unconscious) ability to "pass for white," has evidently corrupted all too many Jews into forgetting that Moses looked like Samuel L. Jackson, NOT Charlton Heston. I say "corrupted" because white skin privilege is, in fact, a form of power; power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, whatever underdog status The Chosen People possessed was lost once Israel began abusing the Human rights of the darker-skinned Palestinians as Amnesty International has documented.

In Joe Sacco's graphic novel Palestine, there's a scene when the author speaks with a couple of Jewish women. One of them dismissively and rhetorically asks Sacco if he could imagine a Jewish homeland in Uganda, Africa. Well, why the hell not? I'm sure Uganda would love all the attention and industry such a move would bring! I don't care if "graphic novel" is just a PC, artsy-fartsy way of saying comic book; it's a damn good idea. I'm trying to save lives, and if following the advice of a comic does the trick, then follow it!

Another scene I'd like to point out is the end of Mel Brooks' History of the World: Part I. In it, ships shaped like the Star of David are shown flying across the galaxy as the song "Jews in Space" pipes in. Let us honor Israel's first astronaut, Ilan Ramon (who tragically lost his life in 2003's Space Shuttle Columbia disaster), by having the billions in taxes that America gives Israel annually go toward a space program instead of a Human rights-abusing military. I will NOT tolerate any more Human suffering because of someone's lack of imagination. If you're going to tell a job-hunting welfare recipient to "first think of a goal and then achieve it," be prepared to do the same.

Want peace in the Middle East? Malcolm X's peace plan can be applied to most any war-torn region. While attending Solano Community College in Suisun, Calif., I discovered some old footage of Malcolm and I remember him saying the following: "In the 1940s, the media taught the public to hate the Germans and Japanese but love the Russians and Chinese. Less than a decade later, the same media taught the same public to hate the Russians and Chinese but love the Germans and Japanese." So picture this: A movie (with Britney Spears' advertising budget) called Romance on the West Bank. Natalie Portman (Star Wars, V for Vendetta) would play the daughter of some high-level minister from Tel Aviv. Siddig El Fadil (Star Trek, Syriana) would play a cute Palestinian dude who throws rocks at tanks on the Gaza Strip. In Romance on the West Bank, these two star-crossed lovers fall for each other despite what society says. The point is, if those in the Middle East can share something as intimate as each other's bodies, they can surely share all that damned land. Make love, not war.

I'm beyond sick and tired of organized religion. I'll gladly dive head first into the very bowels of Hell if it turns out I'm wrong about anything I've just written because I wouldn't want to be a part of any universe where God turned out to be as anal retentive as the fundamentalists claim He/She/It is. I'm an interfaith agnostic and damn proud to be one.