Peacemakers Kick Ass! by Saab Lofton

Peacemakers Kick Ass!
by Saab Lofton

"I don't know what weapons will be used in world war three, but in world war four, people will use sticks and stones."
--Albert Einstein
Lemme tell ya 'bout my boy, Kofi Annan ...

It was the end of the Cold War, and Slick Willie Clinton let the opportunity of a lifetime slip through his greasy fingers: Clinton could've hammered those Cold Warrior swords into plowshares and begun a whole new era of peace and prosperity, but like a typical Democrat, his first priority was making sure no inbred ignoramuses could ever call him wimpy or unpatriotic.

So when Saddam Hussein -- one of all too many C.I.A. creations (along with the Shah of Iran and the death squads of Guatemala) -- tried to impose a ban on weapons inspectors in early 1998, Clinton instead pursued another, darker opportunity: "Duh, I'll make myself look macho and sexy to suburbia and the trailer parks by threatening to attack Iraq!"

Keep in mind, Dubya's daddy had already attacked Iraq several years prior to this, and according to professor Noam Chomsky, "by conservative estimates, ten years of sanctions have killed hundreds of thousands of people. If there were any honesty, the U.S. would pay reparations just for the sanctions," but hey! White America must have a (preferably non-white) boogeyman to rally against, right?

Then, from out of the blue -- just when it looked as though war was on the horizon, my homeboy Kofi Annan, former secretary general of the United Nations, came to the rescue!

Now picture this: Brother man leaves for Iraq on a Friday (February 20th, 1998) and comes back Monday morning with a major victory (James Bond couldn't have done it any quicker). Over the course of a weekend, this black man from Ghana (who, like anti-nuke activist, Dr. Helen Caldicott, was also born in 1938 -- the same year Superman debuted) singlehandedly stopped the most powerful war machine in Human history dead in its tracks! Can I get a Hell yeah?!

Barbara Crossette wrote the following in the February 23rd, 1998 issue of the New York Times: "President Saddam Hussein agreed today to lift his ban on arms inspections at presidential properties, a United Nations spokesman said, apparently defusing a crisis that brought the United States to the brink of another attack on Iraq. The agreement, which took final shape after a three-hour meeting between the Iraqi President and Kofi Annan, the United Nations Secretary General, could avert American bombing of Iraq and recharge the arms inspection process."

Oh, but it gets better! The Congressional Record of March 26th, 1998 states that New York Representative (22nd District) Gerald Solomon said this on the floor of the House of Representatives: "I also have trouble handing out any more money over to an organization whose Secretary-General Kofi Annan has just cut an appeasement deal with Saddam Hussein, said that Saddam Hussein is a man he can work with, and called U.S. weapons inspectors 'cowboys.' That is what this head of the U.N. said? He ought to be horse whipped for saying it."

I saw this on NBC News, so don't you dare call this a conspiracy theory: This ig-nant-ass white man told the United States Congress that a brother "ought to be horse whipped" for ending a war before it could start! What's the reward for finally achieving world peace, Gerald? Being gang raped in the shower room of a penitentiary?

Now, a cynical motherfucker will paraphrase Terminator III and claim Kofi only postponed judgement day -- seeing as how we're currently neck deep in Iraqi quicksand, but who knows how the timeline would've been different if Billy Bob Clinton had been the one who invaded Iraq a second time? In an alternate reality (i.e., Pottersville from Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life) in which Kofi decided to stay at home and play video games that third weekend of February, 1998, Clinton might've triggered World War III ...

Kofi's no longer secretary general of the United Nations, but he'll always be the secretary general of my heart for having saved the world.

There are at least a couple of websites which are totally devoted to making yours truly look bad. One of them is called The Fisking of Saab Lofton, and in it, this asshole claims, "Anyone thinks that World Peace is an attainable goal is either nuts or ignorant of history."

Riane Eisler's bestseller, The Chalice and the Blade (now in 22 languages) is hailed as the most important anthropology book since Darwin's Origin of Species. In her MungBeing Magazine interview, Eisler counteracts the idiocy of that anti-Saab website:

MB: Something unique about your philosophy is that you don't seem to believe that males, or Humans in general, are inherently violent.

RE: When people say "inherently violent" they don't mean that, what they mean is that this is a behavior, a genetic predisposition that characterizes Humans, and particularly males, since time immemorial. Of course that is absolute nonsense. We are inherently violent, we are inherently caring, but what does that mean? That we have the genetic capacity for both of these behaviors.
... since the Human race has the capacity for both, it's "absolute nonsense" to reward the violent and condemn the caring. I reward caring by making Kofi Annan look macho and sexy! Peacemakers kick ass!